7.11.16

A HONEST LIFE UPDATE; BOOKS I'LL BE READING IN NOVEMBER






So I thought it would be a awesome idea to share with you what books i'll/ have been reading in November. This year November will be a super exciting month for me, not just because its my birthday month, but i'm also starting my British Wheel of Yoga Foundation course. FINALLY! 

2016 has been a ridiculously turbulent year for me. If your following me on social media i'm sure you've heard me moan all about it. 2016 saw me wave good by to a close but toxic friendship for good. If i'm honest it was one of the hardest to say good bye too. I lost a aunt, and had to keep a home and family together. On top of this I had to ride out one of the worst bouts of anxiety i've ever had. By June I can honestly say I had well and truly lost myself a bit, and despite the fact there was good amongst all the bad I couldn't see it. I was completely numb and just following the motions.
Now i'm no stranger to depression and anxiety, i've suffered from severe depression and anxiety since I was 13. Which is why I think i'm able to recognise it in myself and understand that there is away out other than sadness. I know that eventually I will see colour and want to smile again. But I also learnt this time around that it was me and only me that could get me out of my ever spiralling situation. I could sit and dwell on how awful and numb I felt or fight it and try to get back to myself. 

I firstly stopped doing the things that I thought I 'should' be doing and started doing the things that made me happy. That doesn't mean I threw my hands up quit my job and stopped paying rent. But I stopped trying to fill up with things to make myself useful when I wasn't being useful at all. I was busy for the sake of being busy. I wasn't using my time effectively. 

I made a list of the things that were important to me and a list of things (physically & mentally) I could let go of. 

Yoga was one of the first things that I reintroduced to my life again, and I genuinely believe I got ill a lot quicker because I wasn't doing it. I also believe I got better a lot quicker because I started doing it again. I also began to realise I wasn't living in my moral compass in regard to the choices I was making. I took on more hours at work,  made more money only to spend more money on stuff I didn't need. What was the point? So with the support of my two amazing bosses they agreed to let me work Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.  I can honestly say now that without yoga I don't think I could survive life and in someways i'm so thankful that these unfortunate experiences happened because its proven to me exactly how much I want yoga in my life.

The second order of business was to make sure I had a action plan and make positive steps towards positive goals. I want to be a Yoga teacher more than anything in the world because I want to show as many people as I can how truly amazing it is. It's honestly for me, not about the asana (pose). For me its more about the feeling I get when i'm on my mat. I never feel more like myself than when i'm on my yoga mat. Connected and awake. I want to share that with people.

I wasn't sure if I was ready for my Foundation Course but I applied for it anyway. I was so happy when I received my conformation email. Part of the training is to keep a six month journal of your practice and your findings. I'm thinking of linking a separate blog and publishing it online for others who may want to take the same path as me but i'm not 100% sure as it can get quite personal. 

Last order of business; I've always wanted to do some kind of Ashtanga training but I find Mysore can be sometimes intimidating and I feel like, for me, it can get confusing. I have wished for ages that I could find a teacher where I could maybe get some one to one training. I had been admiring my friend Jojo's pictures of her time in India whilst she was studying at KPJAYI. I've always admired Jo I find her inspirational. I remembered her telling me about the school and how I should apply. So I looked for more information, just for kicks. According to the website before you can train in the institute you need between 2 and 3 months training with a KPJAYI registered teacher before applying. Out of sheer curiosity I looked and found a teacher in Walthamstow holding private ashtanga classes. It's exactly what I had wished for. My classes start on the 16th and I can't begin to tell you how exciting it all is. 

So on to the books! One of the books i'm reading this month is The Heart of Yoga by T.K.V. Desikachar (here). This is one of the books required to read for my foundation course. I'm afraid I can't shed light on it yet as i've only just begun reading it, but thought it might be useful to share incase anyone wanted to get a head start. 

The other books i'm required to read on our course just incase you were curious are The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, Translation and commenary by Sri Swami Satchidananda (here) 

The second Book I picked up months ago at Triyoga and never got round to finishing due to the drama was Yoga Mala by Sri K Pattabhi Jois (here). Since I will be learning Ashtanga from one of his students it only seemed right to pick the book up again and learn more about the man who bought Ashtanga to the west. The book contains chapters about Pattabhi Jois, goes through the ethical principles of Ashtanga and then goes on to explain the sun salutations and primary series where he describes how to execute each asana and what benefits each provides. 

The last book came up on the Wordery recommended list, and it's called A Way From Darkness by Taylor Hunt. I don't know why I bought this book... but i'm so thankful I did. I read the entire book in a matter of hours, not days, hours. I'm not lying when I tell you I couldn't put it down. I't about a man who had a turbulent life between his early teens and twenties and ended up addicted to drink and drugs, he found yoga and rebuilt his life. I can't express how much I love this book and how relatable I found him. I've never experienced a addiction like Taylor but I can relate to all the emotion and anxiety of someone that age going through a hard time. I also experienced a extremely troubled adolescence which ended up in me drinking heavily and taking a destructive path. I'm so inspired by Taylor's story that I now feel even more compelled follow my dreams. This is also a awesome book for anyone suffering from low self esteem, and has self destructive tendencies.

So thats it for my first Yogic update. I hope it wasn't to boring. (laughing emoji).
One of the real points of this blogpost is no matter how far you find yourself astray from your path its never to late to get back on it. Life really is full of ups and downs. We need to experience the contrast to see what works for us, so really all the bad shit is actually a blessing in disguise. If you find your self getting lost along the way, just carry on and have faith that its all part of the greater picture. 

Hope you found something useful in this, if you did please let me know I would love to hear your feed back.

Namaste,

Nikita 
xxx  








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2 comments

  1. Hun, I've just started reading your blog because I'm sure you know by now how much of a fan I am of the way you spread love and light and share with the world! plus your artistic ability is stunning. Thank you for this space, and I am trying to muster up the courage and motivation to begin this blogging journey too. the recommendations and insights are always great to have so thank you! All the best with everything, you would make for an amazing yoga teacher! xx

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    1. Aww thank you so much for this amazing comment! your name hasn't popped up. I would love to see your blogging journey unfold so send me your details so I can support you back! thank you for being so amazing. this comment has really made my day. Love and Light, Nikita xxx

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